Reflection: What are we afraid of?
Because it is part of my work to help start the conversations around dying and death, I invite you to look into yourselves and ask some basic questions.
What is it about dying and death that we so studiously turn our head and thoughts from?
Is it because we don’t want to think – perhaps we are squeamish - of the physical changes that take place as the body shuts down?
Are we trying to put a barrier between ourselves and the heart-wrenching loss death engenders?
Are we worried about looking too closely at our belief system and what ‘afterlife’ means to us?
Is it the fear of something happening that we have no control over whatsoever, and suddenly we realize how unprepared we are for it?
I was a Disaster Management volunteer for some years and an instructor for half of those. What I learned, and taught, and experienced was that even the lightest of preparation allowed people to retain/regain some element of control (confidence) when faced with what had previously been unimaginable. When we look at our perceptions of dying and death we gain knowledge. Knowledge helps to inform us and prepare us. It suddenly doesn’t seem that scary a thing.
Take a few minutes and examine the questions above.
Don’t think of the ‘traditional’ funeral home death or the dying that you may be familiar with through television, in the movies or what you have heard about. Don’t allow distance. Bring this up close and personal.
Think of yourself as the person that is dying. Think of a loved one that is dying.
Right there.Touch it.Take it gently in your hands and look at it, feel it with love. Don’t hold your feelings back, let your tears well and fall. For it is the love and compassion that you are feeling here that will lead you forward.
It is this loving acceptance that will help us lay the foundations for the work we need to do to instill quality of life, compassion, dignity and respect at end of life and aftercare.
NEED SUPPORT?
Whether you have questions or are ready to work together, let’s begin with a complimentary phone call. I look forward to learning more about where you need support.